Arcade Paradise (Nosebleed Interactive)

Arcade Paradise was released in August 2022 to a variety of gaming systems: Windows, Switch, PS4/5, Xbox Series X/S.  It was developed by Nosebleed Interactive, which is based in Newcastle upon Tyne (in England).  The critical reception at the time was positive, with scores hovering in the 70-80% range (out of 100).  For my part, I came to the game in late May 2026, when I purchased the game and some of its DLC (“coin-op pack” 1 & 2) from Steam for about $10 USD (versus a non-sale price of $20 USD for the base game).

I put about 30 hours into the game, and I have thoughts.  The “value for money” consideration tends to crop up often in conversations around video games, with the number of hours of play time a game provides as a key metric.  In that way, sure, I got my money’s worth, especially since I was able to purchase the game on sale.  My experience with and opinion of the game ended up being a bit more nuanced than that, however, and I can’t say I was thrilled for my entire 30 hour play time.  To discuss, let’s view the game through a few different lenses: its aesthetics, its writing, and the gameplay.

The Aesthetics

Broadly speaking, the game is set in the early 90s in “Grindstone,” a city that the game provides little information on.  As far as the game is concerned, it’s where the POV character is from, where their father owns a meat factory, and where the arcade (/ launderette) is located.  I can’t really speak on whether the game adequately reflects any particular place in the 90s, because you only see a single street at most, and the only business you can interact with is your own.  As the game isn’t really interested in portraying the world of the 90s writ large, I will give it no more discussion.

What about the business itself, the launderette turned arcade where the player will be spending their time?  The laundromat seems reasonably accurate in its depiction, from the tinny speakers to the grungy floor.  The arcade itself also felt reasonably accurate to the period, at least compared against my memories of them.  

If I had any complaints about the aesthetics (and, to a lesser extent, period accuracy), it would be that: 1) that the carpet being so dark can make it hard to find and dispose of the trash that is left around the arcade, 2) the poster for “Vostok Inc” (which features a man laying (mostly) naked on a pile of money with his “family jewels” are obscured) was a bit much and I wish I could’ve removed it, and 3) I wish there was more customization on offer for the aesthetics of the arcade itself, not just the location of the various arcade machines.  Choosing which posters were up on the wall seems like an easy win that was missed.  Moving furniture and vending machines also wasn’t an option.  Lastly, with regards to period accuracy, it’s odd that you can’t view your chat history on the computer in your office (or I never found a way to). 

The Writing

I would describe the writing as, “serviceable.”  It honestly reads as a pretty boiler plate version of the “gifted underachiever makes good” premise.  The main character, Ashley, who is never gendered over the course of the game (NB / self-insert win, I guess), is given a laundromat to run by their rich but absent father.  The business runs flawlessly until it doesn’t and Ashley is pulled away from the arcade.  Then, in a turn of events that will surprise no one who has heard a story before, Ashley makes a comeback and makes their “arcade paradise” a reality.

I wasn’t surprised that the story was not the main focus of the game, given that Arcade Paradise was sold as a means to “build the ultimate arcade,” and not a narrative-rich experience.  There were a few things that still bothered me about the narrative, though.  I didn’t love that this was yet another story where the mother was fridged to progress the story of the main character.  It didn’t help that she wasn’t characterized beyond the fact that she, “loved her children.”  Really, she serves as more of a plot device than a character.  I also wasn’t in love with how self-referential the writing could be.  The plot of one of the arcade games (“Blockchain”) and the narrative end of Arcade Paradise are the worst about this.  (“Freeburn Interactive,” the company Ashley works with over the course of the game, rebrands to “Nosebleed Interactive,” the developers of Arcade Paradise.)  I didn’t find this writing to be a deal-breaker, but I did find it groan-worthy.  A less charitable reviewer might go so far as to call the writing, “up its own ass.”  

Though I don’t think this can be pinned solely on the developers, the “Rage Against the Machine” copycats that are featured in a music video that’s unlocked after completing the game call out the words “arcade paradise” the lyrics of their song.  Several of the songs do this, actually, and I find it a bit corny.  Other writing niggles include how the “I did it myself” narrative falls flat when you think about it for a second.  Ashley was given the laundromat by their father; they didn’t build it from scratch.  Also, given the arcade bust of the 90s / early 2000s, the dad kind of had a point (not that he wasn’t an overbearing asshole, and not that it justifies his actions).  For what it’s worth, the game never reckons with said bust.  

If the aesthetics seem reasonably accurate, if limited, and the writing is “serviceable,” where does that leave the gameplay?  If I’m being completely honest, it’s a mixed bag.

The Gameplay

The “business management” portion of the gameplay is fine, though not mind-blowing.  Given that the developers said their intention was to make the laundromat portion of the game as boring as possible to draw players into the arcade portion I’d say they succeeded.  Even so, I also found a certain joy in the routine of showing up to the arcade and cleaning up the trash (that had somehow accumulated over the course of the evening, while the arcade was closed).

My complaints about the first-person portion of the gameplay (other than the carpets) are that: 1) sprint and zoom were unlockable upgrades, rather than an included portion of the player’s abilities from the start, even if I appreciated the fact that both had associated accessibility options (ie they could be activated by a button being held or toggled on and off).  2) I wish it was easier to scroll through Ashley’s inbox on a controller; being able to press left or right to go up / down a page would’ve gone a long way.  3) Sometimes the trash was too close to the activation trigger for one of the arcade machines, thus making it much more annoying to pick up (since you’re more likely to start playing a game than to pick up the trash).  Once, I was totally unable to pick up a piece of trash because of this (and it haunts me to this day, lol).  

4) It seemed like certain arcade cabinets could not be moved once they were placed, like darts or the driving game.  This held true even after I fully expanded the arcade.  5) The de-bugging mini game felt stale after the first dozen times it happened (and folks with a bug phobia will really not like it).  6) Cabinets cannot be stored.  Given that the game writ large has no fail state, this struck me as odd.  7) I was occasionally assigned launderette-related tasks for bonus income even after I had completely demolished said launderette.  Speaking of the launderette, I found it odd that you do people’s laundry at the business rather than them doing it themselves.  I thought that the business being called a “launderette” rather than laundromat might explain it, but no.

8) I encountered a number of (minor) graphical glitches, like the first person portion of the game still playing under the title screen, textures being blacked out while pulling up gum, etc.  9) The reuse of one of the cabinets (Woodguy Jr & Woodgal Jr) kind of sucks, even if it is in keeping with some of the arcade practices back in the day, a la Pacman vs Ms Pacman.  Lastly, 10) the DLC games being $100 of in-game currency to purchase while the main game cabinets were between hundreds and tens of thousands of dollars meant they were “over-powered” in the meta. The game doesn’t have a fail state for the arcade management portion of the game, though, does it really matter?

With that being said, I consider these issues to be minor and I found the experience of walking through my arcade to be a joyful one.  In fact, I bet the experience would be even better in VR (though I am certainly not going to invest in VR tech just to get that experience).

What about the arcade games themselves? They are the main draw of the game, after all. Like arcades in the real world, the games on offer are a mixture of good, great, meh, and bad.  Here’s my breakdown of where each of the games fall, from “Great” to “Bad,” with each category defined below.  Take note that all of my reviews are for the single-player version of these games; while I found it impressive that some games even offered a multiplayer component, I never had the chance to try any of them myself.  (Also, more in-depth notes about each of the cabinets (and their likely inspirations) can be found at the end of this article.)

GREAT (Adds Something New / Combines Ideas / I’d Play Outside of AP)

Zombat 2, Meteor Madness, Communists from Mars

GOOD (Competently Executed)

Barkanoid, Blockchain, Empathy (just because it’s so different), Graffiti Ballz, Jukebox (though it sucks that so much of the track list is initially locked and you can only play one song at a time), Line Terror, R.O.G.E.R., Slime Pipes, Smoke ‘Em, Stack Overflow, Strike Gold, UFO Assault, Vostok 2093, Woodgal’s Adventure, Woodguy Golf

MEH (Something Isn’t Quite Right / Kinda Boring / Kinda Mindless)

Air Hockey, Attack Vector, Blobs from Space, Bomb Dudes (single Player), Bugai, Championship Darts, Fruit Crush, Hustler, Knuckles and Knees (single player), Shuttlecocks, Space Race Simulator (RPG mechanics ruins it), Summer of Sports, Table Football, Thump-a-Gopher, Toad and Turtle, Woodgal / Woodguy Jr

BAD (Something is WRONG)

Cyber Dance, Cyber Dance Euro, Gravichase (“it’s just bad ‘Super Hexagon'”), Knuckles and Knees (the games within the game within the game), Penguin Push, Racer Chaser, Video Air Hockey

Most of the games in the “bad” category ended up there because they just felt wrong or off to play.  “Cyber Dance” and “Cyber Dance Euro” were the biggest disappointments for me, because they had a limited song selection (not a deal breaker) and a bass kick was tied to each press of a direction button (basically a deal breaker) AND the game’s ability to rate the accuracy of your “steps” felt wonky, too (definitely a deal breaker).  To that last point: it’s not like a perfect was reported as a miss or vice versa, but it still never felt as precise as DDR (or the emulators that only do rhythm games).

Games with a persistent progression mechanic also often suffered because their difficulty curve was annihilated (e.g. space race, vostok 2093, knuckles and knees, etc).  This meant that the games were (or at least felt) punishingly difficult at first, but became laughably easy once all of the upgrades were unlocked.  Also, while it’s a minor nitpick, the choice to include persistent progression also meant that the games were not designed in the spirit of most arcade machines of the era (i.e. to hoover up as many quarters / tokens as possible).  

Beyond that, I don’t think any of the games rise above their inspirations, save a select few.  Zomboid 2 works because while you can unlock power-ups for subsequent play-throughs, they are not guaranteed and which ones you receive are random.  You still die in one hit, too.  This means that selecting the right power-up at least feels like more of a matter of skill expression than simple luck.  (The silly voice acting doesn’t hurt either; who wouldn’t want some “gwanades?”)  Meteor Madness works because it adds something new to the “Asteroids” formula: a grappling hook.  Communists from Mars streamlines Missile Command, making it more approachable.  If the standard is, “would I pay for and play these games outside of the context of Arcade Paradise,” these are the only ones that fit the bill.

I appreciated that the game tries to add meaning to the experience by way of messages from their “customers” who beat their high scores, but that was only for a handful of games (Woodgal Jr, Attack Vector, Gravichase).  This attempt at engagement was a double-edged sword, though.  I set a record of 495 in Woodgal Jr, and it has been the bane of my time with Arcade Paradise to try and beat that; Woodgal just isn’t stimulating enough to continuously go for that kind of record!  When you finally beat these players, they do send you a picture of their cat, so that’s something.  Each of the arcade cabinets also comes with a set of goals (e.g. “kill X number of enemies,” “score Y own-goals,” etc).  While this provided some motivation for me to return to them – especially since cabinets with completed goals earn more money – I just couldn’t be bothered with the games I didn’t enjoy.

I also have a theory as to why most of the games in Arcade Paradise couldn’t rise above “good,” in my estimation.  While the difficulty of game development and changes in design sensibilities over time probably played a role, I’d guess it was mostly due to the difficulty of developing 40+ “games within a game,” to bring Arcade Paradise to fruition.  In other words, if the developer’s sole focus was on developing the best “SHMUP (a la R-Type),” they’d have different priorities than developing a passable version of “R-Type” to sit along passable versions of 40+ other titles.  A “kitchen sink” approach isn’t inherently better or worse than something more focused, but it also comes with compromises.  What examples can I point to?

• The “ball physics” in Barkanoid felt a bit off; in particular the ball behaved erratically at unexpected moments (see my notes at the end of the article for more detail)
• The persistent progression elements nuked the difficulty curve of 90% of the games they were featured in
• Many of the games felt slow / sluggish to control, especially compared to their “name brand” counterparts (e.g. Bugai vs Bust-a-Move, Racer Chaser vs Pac-Man, Penguin Push vs Mario Bros, Shuttlecocks vs Pong, etc etc)
• Games had reduced play modes compared to the games that they were based on (e.g. Point Blank vs Smoke ‘Em, etc)
• Though it isn’t a game, it’s irritating that there wasn’t a way to continuously play through all of the songs on the jukebox.  Since you can’t leave a game without basically restarting from scratch (minus the games with some form of progression), I found this to be a baffling choice.
• It’s a shame that only some games allow you to use the trigger / bumper buttons, while others games can only be controlled with the d-pad / analog stick.
• Some of the vector-based games (Gravichase, Attack Vector, etc) just don’t look as vibrant as their real-world counterparts.  Mostly, I think it’s that the reproductions in the game aren’t as EYE-SEARINGLY bright as those old cabinets.
• It’s weird that some cabinets can be dismissed with a back button press (“B” on the Xbox controller) while on their first screen, while others require a “press-and-hold” procedure

So, where does that leave us?  I don’t think most of the games in Arcade Paradise could stand on their own (see: my vanishingly short list of “great” games).  I’d go so far as to say that some of the games only work at the beginning of the game because the player’s attention is being divided between the arcade and the launderette.  These are the games I won’t be returning to, even after having reached the “end game” (when the launderette and the gameplay associated with it is removed).  This doesn’t mean that the game is without merit, though.  While none of the games within the game are all-timers, it is nice to have them all in one place.  (Though, with my Steam backlog being what it is, I’m not sure I’d really come back to this game for any of the games within it.)  

Ultimately, I’m not sure who the “target audience” for this game is.  Folks for whom this period of time is nostalgic would likely also know the inspirations behind the various games, and thus have potentially better / more refined versions to play.  Granted, this also assumes that those folks have access to said games; video game preservation being what it is, that isn’t a given.  Folks who weren’t around in the 90s / the arcade boom might appreciate these games, but would they be drawn in by the nostalgia the game is trading in?

In the end, do I recommend this game?  If everything I’ve written hasn’t put you off from playing it, I think you’ll enjoy it!  For my part, it was a brief but passionate fling.  While I enjoyed my time with the game, I’m not sure how often I will return to it now that I’ve rolled credits.

Discussing Experience and Homage (Base Game):

• Air Hockey: exactly what it says on the tin
  • Pales in comparison to the real thing, but is otherwise serviceable
• Attack Vector:based on my (cursory) research, an amalgamation of games?
  • Not a lot going on gameplay wise, but high score chasing can be fun
• Barkanoid: Arcanoid / Super Breakout
  • A competent clone, but the ball physics are occasionally wonky (either sending the ball in an unexpected direction or having it plow through bricks instead of bouncing off of them)
• Blobs From Space: Space Invaders
  • The “boss” waves are a nice touch, but the game feels stiff / sluggish compared to the original
• Blockchain: based on my (cursory) research, “Chain Factor” or “Drop 7,” though apparently the hacking power-ups are unique to AP
  • I was disappointed to find out this one wasn’t original.  Even though I never got my head around the gameplay, the story included in the cabinet was good for a chuckle and the power-ups / hacks were a nice touch.
• Bomb Dudes: Bomberman
  • Serviceable, but dull to play without friends 
• Bugai: Puzzle Bobble / Bust-a-Move
  • The fact that you play against a computer opponent adds some interest, but their AI seems pretty keen to off itself.  Also, the game doesn’t allow for as precise a level of control of where bubbles end up compared to the original 
• Championship Darts: exactly what it says on the tin
  • When you realize that the “interference” the game throws at you while aiming is just a figure eight on its side, the game becomes laughably easy
• Communists from Mars: Missile Command
  • I can see why someone might choose Communists from Mars over Missile Command; it streamlines from three bases to one, adds a “laser power” meter to keep the player from spamming attack, and the wry messaging of “Communists Win” is good for a chuckle
• Cyber Dance: Dance Dance Revolution
  • There are only 3 songs and the game feels bad to play.  Also, tying player steps to the kick-drum was a mistake.
• Fruit Crush: based on my (cursory) research, Puyo Puyo / Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine
  • It’s perfectly serviceable as a game, but I found it too slow for my liking (even with the ability to immediately drop puzzle pieces).  In particular, I felt the scores that the “to-do list” asked for were too high; it took several minutes of play to hit 5,000 points, for example
• Graffiti Balls: based on my (cursory) research, this may actually be an original game?
• Gravichase: Super Hexagon
  • When I first played this I said, “oh, this is Super Hexagon but worse.”  Oof.  Also, the soundtrack being a Shepard Scale is underwhelming
• Hustler: Pool
  • I’d describe it as, “fine.”
• Jukebox: exactly what it says on the tin
  • It’s irritating that you can’t play more than one song at a time (a la a playlist), especially when you are playing a different game that goes for more than the length of one song.  This forces you to lose the progress you’ve made in the game you’ve been playing to start another song.  
• Knuckles and Knees: side-scrolling “beat ‘em ups” generally
  • It’s fine, but the move-set for each character feels a little limited and some of the enemies have a bad habit of running off-screen where you can’t hit them (which breaks your combo and wastes your time).  Also, it’s not great that one of the characters reveals her panties every time she does a jump kick.
• Line Terror: based on my (cursory) research, Qix
  • The game doesn’t have a lot going on visually, but the gameplay is actually pretty compelling.  Having enemies stalk along the outskirts of the arena (and the lines the player makes) adds a bit of intrigue and challenge to the experience, too.
• Meteor Madness: Asteroids, but with a little something extra
  • Having to retrieve diamonds (that affect the trajectory / physics of the ship) is cool, but the fact that you have to destroy every asteroid before you can move to the next level (even if you’ve collected all the diamonds) is weird.
• Racer Chaser: Pac-Man, but with a whiff of GTA
  • I want to give this one points for creativity (ie how it mashes up Pac-Man and 2D GTA), but it just feels so stiff and slow to play
• Shuttlecocks: Pong
  • Another game I’d describe as, “fine.”
• Slime Pipes: based on my (cursory) research, Pipe Mania
  • I can totally cop to the fact that my struggles with this one were a skill issue.  It seems like a perfectly fine game, and it reminds me of the hacking minigame from Bioshock, so that’s fun.
• SpaceRace Simulator: Outrun (with shades of F-Zero)
  • This game was ruined by the progression system.  The fact that I went from being crushed by the game to being able to play it infinitely with a few upgrades doesn’t feel like a win; it just feels bad.
• Stack Overflow: based on my (cursory) research, “Towers of Hanoi”
  • I had fun with this one, and returned to it even when I didn’t have incentive to (i.e. I’d completed all of the goals and it wasn’t one of the day’s to-dos).  I wish I didn’t have to start at level 1 every time, though.  Also, the boss’ voice gets a chuckle out of me.
• Strike Gold: based on my (cursory) research, Mr. Driller
  • I found this one charming.  Also, critically, I found the updates didn’t break the game (you still died in a hit or two, you still had to work to get a high score, etc).
• Table Football: exactly what it says on the tin
  • Maybe this is another skill issue, but I found a single game took far too long.  Also, like Air Hockey, the virtual game pales in comparison to the real thing.
• Thump-a-Gopher: Whack-a-Mole
  • I’d describe this as, “fine.”  It didn’t excite me, though it did bring back some childhood memories of playing similar games (and cheating by using both of my hands, not the hammer).
• Toad and Turtle: Frogger
  • It’s an OK Frogger facsimile, but I didn’t find it exciting.
• UFO Assault: based on my (cursory) research, Blitz
  • While this game only requires a single button to play, I still found it compelling.  There’s skill required to really excel at the game, mostly in the context of shot selection (where you drop your bomb) and timing (when you drop your bomb).  
• Video Air Hockey: exactly what it says on the tin
  • I was less impressed by this one than Air Hockey, mostly because it pretty regularly glitched out on me (e.g. my “paddle” would move erratically and only return to normal after I pressed the action button).
• Vostok 2093: the SHMUP (“Shoot ‘Em Up”) genre, generally
  • A perfectly cromulent SHMUP that becomes laughably easy once you have all the power-ups.  Maybe it would be better if you could disable the power-ups at will?
• Woodgal Jr / Woodguy Jr: Timberman
  • Like “Attack Vector”, this one is best when chasing a high score.  Just be careful you don’t pump the score too high, though … 
• Woodgal’s Adventure: based on my (cursory) research, Zookeeper / Candy Crush
  • It’s a “Match 3+” puzzle game with light RPG elements.  It didn’t blow me away, but it was fun enough while I played. 
• Woodguy Golf: Hotshots Golf?  Mario Golf?
  • It’s another perfectly cromulent game; it doesn’t seem to add anything new or exciting to the formula, though.
• Zombat 2: Twin Stick Shooters
  • This was probably my favorite game of all.  I liked it enough that I’d buy a stand-alone version of the game to play.  Also, I found myself wishing there were more levels. 

Discussing Experience and Homage (DLC):

• Cyber Dance Euro Mix: Dance Dance Revolution (again)
  • Nope.  No thank you.  (See: “Cyber Dance”)
• Empathy: based on my (cursory) research, it’s a “Bladerunner” reference
  • I found this one interesting because it’s so weird and off-putting.  The fact that it is, apparently, an original creation in the context of the gameplay (even if the idea was borrowed from elsewhere) only further elevates it. 
• Penguin Push: Mario Bros
  • Aside from the fact that I think this game is best experienced with two players, the moment-to-moment gameplay feels stiff and unimpressive.  I found the jumps to be inconsistent in height, the movement was slippery, and the lack of enemy variety meant there was little for me to return to after a play or two
• Smoke ‘Em: Point Blank
  • The original was one of my favorite arcade games, so this one had a lot to live up to.  Honestly, I enjoyed it, but I wanted more modes (like the original had).  
• Summer of Sports: based on my (cursory) research, Track and Field
  • Honestly, it’s a perfectly serviceable homage to the original, but the limited number of events means that there isn’t much of a reason to return to the game after completing the “goals” provided by your PDA.
• R.O.G.E.R.: based on my (cursory) research, this may also be original (at least in presentation)?
  • Apparently there’s an endless mode that I am not skilled enough to have reached.  I found this to be a fun, twitchy experience regardless.